Isang bukas na liham...

Dearest Kule,

Apat na taon na pala ‘tol.Musta na ba ako? Eto, ayos naman…single pa rin.Ewan ko ba at hirap akong makajackpot ng isang tulad mo.

Di naman lingid sa ‘yo mga fans ko di ba ? Kaso, bawat isa sa kanila eh kulang sa katangian na meron ka.Hirap naman kse nang naging pamantayan ko eh.Pero patuloy pa rin akong umaasa na darating din ang lalaking tulad mo…mabait, matalino, responsable, mabango at kaya akong sabayan sa bilis kong maglakad at kumain.Pero sa ngayon, wala pa talaga eh.Parang gusto ko na ngang maniwala na sa guniguni ko na lang makikita ang taong yun.

May mga kilig moments naman ako kahit pano.Feeling teenager ako pag kausap ko si Kolokoy…magaling magpatawa si Kurdapyo…tumataba ako pag kadeyt ko si Kulas…mahilig magpadala ng flowers at sweets si Diego…consistent naman ang pagiging sensible guy ni Mr. Trivia …at si Achilles naman ang akala kong pwede nang maging kasama ko habang buhay…hindi pala.

Di naman ako pressured na wala pa ring dumating na tulad mo.Yung mga nakapaligid sa kin ang gustong-gusto na magkaroon na ko ng Hector Troy and Samantha Mikaela.Kaya tol, kaw na kumilatis sa pwedeng maging tatay at ka buddy nila Hector and Sam ha.Sana lang, kasing ganda rin ng boses at ugali mo. Sana, marunong din syang mag billiards, mag basketball at jologs sa pagkain ng dinengdeng at dilis, pakbet at tinapa.

Katatapos lang ng American Idol season 8.Malamang pareho na naman tayo ng manok at sang ayon ka rin siguro na si Kris Allen ang nanalo(dahil sa bukod sa maganda ang boses, marunong syang mag gitara at mag piano.)Di na pala masyadong sinasayaw ng mga bata ang spaghetti at ocho-ocho, “Jaiho” na ang uso ngayon.Tatakbo ulit na presidente si Loren at Erap, mag-iissue na nang resibo ang mga taxi, masarap pa rin ang lotsa pizza at tukneneng, bumabaha pa rin sa Malabon.

Napalitan na nang pagkahilig sa videoke ang bisyong bingo at tong-its nila nanay at tatay.Inaliw nila ako nung isang araw.Ilang beses na pareho ang kantang gusto nilang kantahin.Nagmistulang mga apo nilang sila Joshua at Nini kung titingnan mo sila sa sobrang kakulitan.Di ako nagpatalo.Tumira rin ako ng mga kanta ng Aegis.Masakit pa rin ang lalamunan ko ngayon.

Apat na taon…1,460 days na pala ang nagdaan. Pero sa paglipas ng panahon, hooked pa rin ako sa Hana Yori Dango at curious ako ngayon sa bagong Korean version. Pero para sa kin, mas gwapo pa rin ang Taiwan F4 na sila si Dao Ming Zi at Hua Ze Lei.Mas maganda ring hamak ang soundtrack ng Meteor Garden kase nasasabayan ko.Pag gusto kong mag emote, patutugtugin ko lang ang Ni Yao de Ai and broken vow at ayun, tulo na luha ko.

Pero dahil sa curious nga ako kung pano ang version ng mga Koreans (gusto ko ring malaman kung gagayahin din kaya nila yung nabugbog si Dao Ming Zi para kay San Cai) bumili na ‘ko ng series sa suki ko. Di ko na kailangang mag undertime para makahabol sa labas sa TV.(Nasa episode 12 na ko..hehheh)Sya tol, got to go. Gusto ko nang makita si Jun Pyo at Ji Hoo.As usual, ingat na lang ako. Miss you, tol.

/Pepay

Ysay…a dream friend came true!

Oftentimes, we were asked about our dreams. Mine are pasted in my vision board to which some I can proudly say I achieved already:

1. Dream Job - in HRD. Attained? YES! (I was fortunate enough to land in my dream job after graduation…and being an HRD head is super bonus for me…reason for me to be thankful to God for the awesome blessing!)

2. Dream Company – to be part of big time companies in food business. Attained? YES! (don’t be confused on my answer here. I’m still connected with BBPH, a telecommunications company but It’s really my dream to be part of San Miguel Foods Corporation, Jollibee, Barrio Fiesta, etc. since I really love to eat. But my current company has somehow helped me achieve that dream since they are paying me enough pesosessss for me to eat in a nice resto or explore great cuisines around the globe (wish around the globe nga…hehehhe) And that’s why I feel like I’m working with my dream company now. (Make sense?…none sense pa rin yata…)

3. Dream salary – $20,000 a month and using the 2004 conversion ha (P56 = $1) not the dollar conversion nung 1979 (kse 7.377 lang ang exchange rate noon) Attained? Not yet but Soon! Sooner! Soonest!

4. Dream Vacation – in Bohol, Palawan, Cebu, Davao (yep,mababaw lang akong mangarap kaya okey sa kin kahit local muna) and so I need some more pushing and convincing from myself to give in to the BDO credit card package tours that they are offering…”cge na Joyce,25% off na, zero interest pa. credit card mo na! swipe na!”

5. Dream House – a lake house complete with swans, crocodiles and anacondas. Then I’ll invite all my relatives, friends, officemates and countrymen to come over…then Barbeque party every weekend less alcoholic drinks syempre kaya gulaman at sopisdrink lang po ang pwede. (at yung mga pasaway,itatali sa anaconda)

6. Dream Guy – Matt Damon…mahilig kse ako sa writer na gwapo at magaling sumuntok.

7. Dream friend – YSAY MANUEL…(haaayyy..finally! Senya na mareng Ysay ha, mejo napahaba lang ang intro ko…)



Far from my expectations that I’ll be super close to Ysay Garcia-Manuel as there are lots of differences which I thought would be hindrance to continue what we have today…A SUPER GREAT friendship anyone would long to have. Yes, Ysay is everybody’s dream friend. I’m lucky enough to be part of her chosen few_super close_great friends (ehem!) Few things that I didn’t find it clickable at first though:

1. She’s 7 years younger than me – but even in that 7 years gap, I found her very mature especially matters of the heart. Maaga kse syang nagka BF (5 yrs old yata may BF na sya…heheheh)

2. She smokes and I don’t. She only stops puffing cigarette if she’s coughing hard or when she’s sick. I remember our IBM days when she can finish 3 sticks from IBM bldg exit door to FX terminal…that’s approximately 40 steps distance (so that’s 13.33 steps per stick…heheheh)

3. She loves cats and she takes care of them like her own babies (yun muna babies nya while waiting for the real ones.) so ayun, katabi nya mga pusa nya sa bed…kasabay nya ring maligo at mag-almusal. I hate cats naman kse sabi ng nanay ko, pusa ang dahilan bakit ako nagka asthma. Kaya hanggang ngayon,sinisisi ko sila pag nahihirapan akong huminga at may mala pusa akong naririnig sa dibdib ko. (good thing wala na kong asthma attack ngayon,nawala na sya nung grade 2 pa lang ako)

4. She’s a La Salle graduate kaya Inglisera, ako nama’y PUP graduate at malakas lang ang loob mag spokening dollars ((“So wats up Ysay? How you’ve been lately? Doin’ great yeah?”)

5. She’s a natural biba…intelihente. Ako nama’y kailangan munang magpractice sa salamin magsalita ng “intelligent talk” para kunwari matalino rin ako at kaya ko syang sabayan. (So what’s a computer Joyce? “A computer is an electronic device capable of performing mathematical and logical operations based on a set of forms or instructions to produce meaningful output…”)

6. I hate tardy people…isa yan sa “not so good” trait ni Ysay. But I’m so happy for the improvement kse disciplined na sya sa time nya (sabi ng bubwit ko na officemate nya ngayon…) Kung dati 1 hr syang late, ngayon eh 59 mins na lang daw (at least improving talaga mare ha…)

But Even with the differences, Ysay to me is really a dream friend…

1. She’s a secret keeper. No need to ask her to raise her right hand and recite “promise, cross my heart, hope to die” before you share her your deepest secret. You’re assured that it will remain a secret ‘till dementia and Alzheimer attacks her.

2. No dull moments for Ysay. Sobrang kwela. Talk to her in an hour and you feel a year younger, 4 hrs and you’ll feel like a teenager, and a day with Ysay will make you feel that you’re a baby again (maiihi ka kse sa sobrang katatawa kaya dapat naka diaper ka pag kakausapin mo sya ng matagal) Nakakabaliw syang kasama…Contagious laughter talaga when she starts talking.(di kaya boyoyong clown ka nung past life mo mare?)

3. We both love to eat hanggang sa di na kme makatayo sa sobrang kabusugan (usual line ni Ysay: mare promise,last ko na ang kain na ganito ha…diet na tlaga ako bukas ha…)

4. We almost have the same wedding anniversary (March 27 ako and March 28 sya, same year kme kinasal) And parehong gwapo at mabait ang aming hubby.

5. I clearly remember when she told me that she’s afraid of looking at the coffin. But when I was still in shock when Rey left me, Ysay took charge in taking care of Rey’s casket…even almost embracing my husband just to put the accessories and flowers.

We sure have plenty of great memories stored in my memory bank and a lot more to come especially if she’ll have her sleepovers at my pad again. Can’t wait for that time marekoy. I need your shots of laughter medicine again. Kitakits!

Thankful for true friends like Helen…

I ran across an old box of letters and cards and numerous cards from my dear friend Helen Santos caught my attention. Helen, just like Ysay knew me very well even if I don’t really share what’s inside me. After that hospitalization incident, Helen was one of my callers and she only learned about what happened to me when she and her husband Jaytee read my blog.

Seeing her in the church last Sunday, I really felt how worried she was even if I assured her that I’m really ok. (maybe because my hospitalization concerns my heart, and her daughter cute little Hannah is into the same heart healing,too. And I may say Helen has been an expert when it comes to “heart conditions” as she had read various articles regarding the same.)

I can’t count how many times she hugged me, and it felt ssooooo gooooddd receiving tight hugggsss from her. And text messages/chat reminders from her that I have to follow the doctor’s advise were also overflowing.

I admire how Helen put her thoughts on all the cards she sent me. Hindi nakakasawang basahin. Reading the cards felt like she’s just beside you. Just to share you the most recent card I received on my birthday…

“Dearest Joyce, I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave in your direction and make everything “all better.” I wish I had a sprinkle of stardust that would erase every problem that’s come your way. If only I could get my hands on a magic lamp and rub it until a genie appeared. I would ask for an end to all your cares and the beginning of great happiness for you. I don’t really have any magic, but if deep feelings and warm thoughts can help, there’s definitely some wonder-working stuff headed your way.

Mare, you are simply a blessing! An amazing, wonderful blessing to every life you touched. For this, I praise and thank God for bringing into this world a beautiful creation that was molded in strength and wisdom… that is you.

I could not thank you enough for everything you have done for me and my family, especially for Hannah. Please know that I am eternally grateful for everything-for all the fasting, the prayers, kind words, hugs, comforting text messages and food, etc, etc, etc. You and your friends have so generously given to uplift Hannah during her most trying times. Thank you for interceding for me to get monetary support from those who became Hannah’s benefactor, too-Sir Joey and his Dad.

Sometimes Joyce, I just like looking at you because when I do, I see a beautiful woman who exudes a different light in her brown eyes. It is no wonder many gorgeous men (and kind-hearted, I hope) fall and pursue you.

Mare, I wish you all the best. I pray that God send forth his anointed one to shower you with great love and happiness in due time, someone who will take care of your heart…a man who will protect you and nurture you.

Dear, blessings are on your way. Please promise me that you will enjoy and savor them, ok. Dry your tears na ha?

I love you, Joyce. Happy, happy Birthday! God Bless you always! Shine on!-Love,Helen”


True friendship is rare on earth. It means identifying with someone in thought, heart and spirit. I’m so thankful to have true friends like Helen. A person who I will always remember not only by her name by my heart. I love you,too mare! Mwa!

How to face another day...

What will you do if someone who gave your life meaning left you? Someone who brought you joy and happiness is gone? Someone who has been a part of your days on earth no longer walks on earth with you? And no matter how you have prepared yourself that life is just temporary here on earth, still, you are not quite prepared by unexpected goodbye.

Life was not really the same when Rey left me…and it hurts so badly. I’m not ready to change my daily routines…waking up at 6am with Rey’s morning kiss, taking a bath while my brewed coffee and big breakfast is secretly being prepared by my husband(yes, oftentimes Rey would pretend sleeping still in our bed after quickly preparing my breakfast), a goodbye kiss when I’m off to work, a 10am call reminder from dear Rey that I should munch something during morning breaktime, another reminder call at noon that it’s lunchtime, another reminder call in the afternoon that I need to breath since he wants to see me alive when I come home dinner time(Rey: Tol,musta na?humihinga ka pa ba?), a call reminder when Im about to leave the office (Rey: Tol,ingat ka ha. Sayang ka rin) a sumptuous dinner together, a quick shower together and sleeping with his left arm as my pillow.

Now, everythings gone…and I can’t imagine that I would ache in all the ways that I do. I was filled with fear for I’m left alone in my room, I hate darkness, I hate coldness, I hate emptiness…Moreso, I hate my being unexpectedly angry for every reasons in the world…

I have learned all the styles of grieving from reading books, watching movies and talking to those who also had lost a loved one. I can’t help but compare my situation to them. Sometimes I just wished that Rey died due to known illness or accident. At least by these reasons, questions would be easier to answer.

And so how can I face another day? Oh well, I’ve decided that enough of the grieving already. Nanay once told me that Rey would be very happy if he sees me moving on. Ok then, I will. For Rey’s sake and all those who are pleading that they want to see the usual bubbly Joyce. Now I need to work on my schedule since most of my loved ones want to date/treat me. I missed eating actually. I would love to eat my pinakbet, sisig, bangus belly, crispy pata, calamares, bulalo, grilled liempo, talong with bagoong,etc. (am I hearing Dencio’s?)

I just want to thank all my friends, relatives and especially my Umerez and Turingan family for being with me through all my pains. Through them, it made the coping up and moving on faster and easier.

From Vanessa & Hubert Bueno: Life may sometimes be unfair; but God has a reason for everything. It may be difficult to understand those reasons now…but in time…in time. The comfort that we provide may not be enough, but should you need anything from us, we’re here to help in any manner that we can. We love you mare.

Mayet Bambalan and Ruel Dizon: In the quiet moments of your sadness, may love bring you comfort and may hope bring you peace…thinking of you at this difficult time.

Shishi Cantos, Marge & Wes Lava: I know how hard it is for you to accept what happened. It might be more difficult when days go by. Just be strong and always pray for His guidance. Just like what you’ve read in the mass card, there’s a purpose why it happened. We’ll always be here for you.

…long lines of messages actually from my dear friends and family. I may not be able to post everything here but you know who you are. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Mwa!